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March 6, 2011

Imagining… and Doing: Creating a New Ministry

Imagine the retirement years - a time which one anticipates a new way of life. The family that once filled your time with various schedules, work, and balancing school activities is replaced with new adventures. Those children that were once the focus of your life now have families of their own. Then one day retirement is changed forever – maybe it is a phone call, maybe a knock at your door. It may be the result of domestic abuse, substance abuse, the death of a parent/s, HIV/AIDS, neglect, incarceration, a call to serve in the military, or because some parents just walk away from their child/ren. Immediately life changes and the next generation is in need of your care. Through the grieving of your own child’s loss, you now must pick up the pieces and begin to raise the next generation. This is a story of how one congregation has partnered with one of its members, Adrian Mary Charniak – an active member since March 1981, to create a new ministry that provides a safe space locally as well as is socially active on state and national levels fighting for the rights of grandparents raising grandchildren.

            The ministry defined below is an outgrowth of the Vision and Mission of Trinity Community Church, UCC in Berwyn, Illinois which was officially adopted in January 2008 after a multi-year visioning process offered by the Illinois Conference of the United Church of Christ. In April 2009 the members of Trinity Community, a church in the inner suburban area of Chicago, formally recognized and established a new ministry under it’s Board of Mission and Witness: the Gift of Hope, Grandparents and Others Raising American’s Children. The Gift of Hope ministry takes its name from “Gift of Hope Organ & Tissue Donor Network,” a life saving organization. The ministry’s name honors Adrian Mary Charniak’s son Raymond Nosal, the father of her grandchild Joey, after “Gift of Hope” assisted the Charniak family in fulfilling Raymond’s last wishes by providing life saving organs and tissue transplants to others.

            Building upon the gifts God has provided the local church through its membership, Trinity Community is empowering its membership as well as social agencies and ecumenical partners to work on issues of grandparents rights. Grandparents attempting to raise their grandchildren face tremendous struggles and are oppressed by various societal structures. Legal obstacles are common for grandparents lacking legal custody rights: visitation rights are often not acknowledged; school and medical records are often denied; and, legal representation is very difficult to obtain and afford. Many grandparents raising grandchildren live on fixed incomes, many on or close to the poverty level. Second mortgages are often taken to pay for attorney fees in order to obtain legal rights – visitation, guardianship, etc. Grandparents also struggle financially attempting to provide additional food, clothing, and housing for added family members. Medical, dental health care, and other out of pocket expenses are burdensome when faced with no legal rights, a fact that still remains an obstacle for many grandparents who are raising grandchildren. A grandparent receives $117/month for the first grandchild, $107/month for the second, and $10 less for each additional child - as compared to $500 to $800 monthly financial support offered to Foster Parents. The system discriminates and is non-supportive while taking advantage of good hearted grandparents who choose to raise their grandchildren.

            There is also a stigma associated with how our society treats older adults and often social structures do not recognize grandparents as being capable of caring for grandchildren. Official agencies, including abuse hotline responders, often ignore grandparents who report child abuse; judges often will not listen judging in favor of a biological parent who has a history of drug and/or alcohol abuse; social workers are over burdened by case loads and can fall short; many grandparents are told to “shut up” as they face untrue negative accusations that are inaccurately reported by formal investigation agencies; and, may need to relocate, or minimally appeal, due to “no children welcome” housing requirements of many senior communities.

            The Gift of Hope ministry attempts to empower grandparents through Christian fellowship and liberate oppressive social structures by helping grandparents and others by: empowering them when facing the legal and custody issues associated with raising their grandchildren; providing emotional, physical, and spiritual support needed to face the overwhelming demands of raising grandchildren and the generational differences; striving to break the isolation older adults experience the second time around with raising grandchildren; sharing the newest educational information on parenting skills including safe baby sleeping techniques; working with social systems and school districts to end oppressive practices against grandparents; working with federal and state law makers to broaden grandparent rights; explaining medical rights; interfacing with new technology; help with obtaining clothing and other needs for the children; raising funds to assist with gas and electric bills as well as public transportation needs; providing holiday meals and sourcing area food panties; locating affordable apartments; and offering home furnishings (dressers, beds, etc). We strive to help grandparents imagine a new possibility knowing that God is still speaking.

Since it’s inception in April 2009, the Gift of Hope ministry has assisted 178 families with an average of two children each, although some grandparents are raising as many as eight grandchildren - and 30 are under the age of 55. The church has become a second home to many of these families, made up of many ethnic backgrounds and cultures, providing a safe and hope filled space offering encouragement, networking opportunities, and fun things to do with children. The church offers support groups for grandparents two times per month – a place to share concerns, receive physical and spiritual support, as well as share laughs. This past year 20 group meetings offered assistance to an extremely diverse group of grandparents from low, middle, and upper income brackets. Grandparents and their children are invited to participate in all church activities: the swim party at the local YMCA; annual Hawaiian Luau; talent show; Grandparents Day worship and luncheon; and Christmas Dinner which provided Christmas gifts for 37 grandchildren and 20 adults. Church members collect clothing for children and grandparents, toys, backpacks and school supplies, and embrace many of the grandparents and their grandchildren as their own. The church has become a place where grandparent voices can be heard as State Task Force meetings made up of local and state agency representatives are held at the church. The church has partnered with two local Jewel Food Stores who donated over 70 Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners (turkey and ham dinners each feeding eight people) in support of the church’s mission. The church is also partnering with the GrandFamilies Program of Chicago and has recently received a grant from the Bureau of Community Operations, Illinois Department on Aging in support of the ministry.

            The roots of the Gift of Hope ministry grew out of Adrian Mary Charniak’s lived experience and her dedication to putting her faith into action – her work has inspired the church and others to follow her lead. Adrian, the Co-Chair of Trinity Community’s Board of Mission and Witness and the Director of the Gift of Hope ministry, has been a driving force at the state and national levels striving to give grandparents legal rights. She also volunteers at the Cook County Guardianship Assistance Desk For Minors in the State of Illinois assisting over 4,000 families annually including providing back up plans for guardianship in the event that grandparents need assistance due to medical needs – and she facilitates a monthly support group for grandparents at the Rush Oak Park Hospital in Oak Park, Illinois. All because she is a “Babi” (Czech for grandmother).