In June 1998 Adrian Mary Charniak’s vision of being a grandmother, known as “Babi” in Czech, was forever changed. After seeing her grandson for the very first time, five minutes after his birth, she knew that she would be intimately involved in his life and likely his primary caregiver. Her grandson was born to parents that she loved, but did not understand. Both suffered from Bipolar Disorder and were substance abusers. Obtaining guardianship of her grandson became her primary focus - a road that was unpaved and uncharted for a retired dental office manager - and she soon found she had no legal rights.
The journey of raising another generation required tremendous dedication which has placed Adrian, as other grandparents, on an emotional as well as financial roller coaster. The first obstacle in Adrian’s journey was achieving legal rights for her grandson to be raised in her household. Grandparents and other family members are often never notified when their grandchild/ren are placed in Foster Care. This results in children being placed up for adoption and once the adoption has taken place the children are lost to their biological families. After 112 court appearances, 87 which were unsuccessful, countless police reports, and spending over $65,000 in legal fees, Adrian’s son received divorce papers that read - father has custody, child must reside with grandparents.
In September of 2003 Adrian attended a Grandparents Club at the Rush Oak Park Hospital in Oak Park, Illinois and learned a frightening fact - there were 6 million children between the ages of 1-12 living with a grandparent or being cared for by another family member. At the same time she learned about something called the “Grand-Rally” - a grandparents and other rally that would be taking place on the west lawn of the Nation’s Capital building in October of 2003. At that moment Adrian looked at her mother and the group leader, Pauline Koch, and announced “I am going to Washington.” On October 15, 2003 the journey of fighting for Grandparents Rights took Adrian from Riverside, Illinois to the Grand-Rally in Washington, D.C. At the rally she was introduced to Brigitte Castellano, associated with the National Committee of Grandparents for Children’s Rights, as well as Senator Hillary Clinton, Congressman Danny Davis, and Congresswoman Judith Biggert - all who encouraged her endeavor. It was because of this rally that Adrian finally found peace and learned that she was not alone and not to blame for what was happening in her family. More than 2,000 grandparents attended this rally. Because of the Grand-Rally, doors that were once barred or hidden from view were finally opening for her family. Adrian vowed to herself and to God that she would assist anyone who would come to her for help and if she did not have the answer she would find one.
In 2004 Adrian and her grandson Joey met with Senator Richard Durbin and Senator Peter Fitzgerald, both from Illinois – both listened to her regarding grandparent issues and encouraged her to continue her work. In 2005 Adrian attended her second “Grand-Rally” in Washington, D.C. - this time meeting with Senator Richard Durbin and then Senator Barack Obama (never dreaming he would become President). Senator Obama discussed living with his TuTu (grandmother) and the impact she had on his life.
After volunteering at Rush Oak Park Hospital for three years, running their Grandparents Raising Grandchildren support group, Adrian believed that the west suburban area of Chicago was under served when it came to supporting grandparents. At about the same time a newer member of Trinity Community Church, UCC told Adrian that she too was raising her grandson. Adrian approached the Pastors who supported her effort to address the Church Council with her desire for the church to begin a new ministry by opening its doors to grandparents which would continue and expand upon the work that God had placed before her. In April 2009 the Church Council of Trinity Community Church, UCC approved a new ministry, the Gift of Hope, Grandparents and Others Raising American’s Children under the auspices of the Board of Mission and Witness. The church would offer its resources to provide a supportive atmosphere for meeting with grandparents and others who were actively raising grandchildren. In addition to providing meeting space the church would work with Adrian to offer educational programs, distribute food and clothes, create a networking resource with other agencies, and provide Christian fellowship. This Lenten season, 2011, Adrian and other grandparents will be the guest speakers at the Ecumenical Lenten service hosted by Trinity Community as a means to teach other churches how to turn the gifts of their members into viable ministries that serve not only the local community but that empower folks to be socially and politically active. Imagine what is possible when we find that God is still speaking.
Adrian Mary Charniak has given up her retirement savings to have the legal rights and responsibility of raising her grandson - and she would do it all over again if need be. Adrian’s late son Raymond presented their family with the gift of his son Joey. Adrian, her husband Ron, and the Body of Christ known as Trinity Community Church, UCC strive to provide hope for grandparents and others who are raising the next generation of young adults. Adrian along with other church members continue to give to those who are often oppressed and overlooked when faced with the daunting task of raising their grandchildren and fighting for legal rights associated with that task. Adrian, together with the other church members involved in this ministry, provides a voice in the wilderness - an open door for grandparents to learn, share, and grow. Adrian has been and continues to be a driving force, not only for grandparents but by empowering the local church to be a vocal and socially responsive voice for a population in need, in a new way which it had not been. It is our hope that Adrian can be recognized as a person of honor in the United Church of Christ, for she is indeed a person of honor at Trinity Community Church, UCC in Berwyn, Illinois, and for many grandparents throughout the Chicago-land area, within the State of Illinois, as well as nationally. Adrian is a persistent Still Speaking voice – a leading force offering positive change, hard work, hope, and determination. Faith has empowered Adrian not only to have a voice but to be a voice for other grandparents who remain voiceless. When asked what is the best thing about being a grandparent raising a grandchild she responded: “The hugs – the Thank Yous – the I Love Yous. How Can you beat that?” Adrian has and continues to imagine what’s possible.
Laws Advocated by Adrian
National: Fostering Connections Law: Passed 2008; Signed into law on October 2008 by President George W. Bush. Adrian Mary Charniak’s work supported the initiative for the passage of this law mandating that Grandparents, Uncle and Aunts must be notified before a grandchild can be placed in Foster Care.
Illinois: Presently working on the DeFacto Law in Illinois which provides a ruling that once a child resides in a loving home with need met for two or more years parents can not seek custody of the child unless a Grandparent can no longer care for the child or unless the parents can prove they are capable of caring for the child.
Awards Adrian has Received
2008: Silent Savior Award GrandFamilies Program of Chicago
2006: Sankofa Safe Child Initiative, Congressman Danny Davis, Sankofa Association
Events Adrian has Attended
Grand-Rally in Washington, D. C. in October 2003, 2005; and in 2008 one member and one grandparent friend from Trinity Community Church, UCC and seven other grandparents joined Adrian.
Speaking Engagements Adrian Attended & Participated In
White House Conference on Aging , Washington, D.C./Chicago
National Committee of Grandparents For Children’s Rights, Washington, D.C.
Generations United, Washington, D.C.
Illinois Governors Conference On Aging, Chicago
Illinois Council on Aging/Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, Chicago, Springfield, LaGrange
Cook County Judges/Guardianship Desk for Minors, Chicago
Operation Push, Chicago
Chicago Renewal Society, Chicago
U of I Chicago, Jane Adams School of Social Work, Chicago
Loyola University School of Social Work, Chicago
Kiwanis Club of Illinois, Chicago and Suburbs
Rotary Club of Illinois, Chicago and Suburbs
American Library Association Conference, Chicago
Illinois Library Association Conferences, Edwardsville/Rosemont
Grant Makers of America Conferences, Chicago/Atlanta
Congressman Daniel Lipinski’s Health Fairs, Chicago Suburbs
Senior Fairs, Berwyn, Brookfield, Burbank, North Riverside, Forest Park, Oak Park, LaGrange, Schaumburg
School Districts, meeting with Social Workers, Chicago Suburbs
Humana Insurance of Illinois, Chicago and Suburbs
Rush Medical Center, Chicago
Rush Oak Park Hospital, Oak Park, Illinois
News Articles Related to Adrian and the Church Ministry
“Grandparents Step In When Parents Can’t Be Parents” by Kathleen Misovic in LaGrange Patch February 2, 2011, online at: http://lagrange.patch.com/articles/grandparents-step-in-when-parents-cant-be-parents#photo-4691764
“Grandparents Keep Families Afloat” by Julianne Hing in ColorLines: News for Action September 10, 2010, online at: http://colorlines.com/archives/2010/09/post_103.html
“GrandFamilies Forms Empowerment Group in Hyde Park” by Daschell Phillips reprinted from the Hyde Park Herald, July 21, 2010 in Seniors Perspective and Issues, Hyde Park-Kenwood Community Conference, online at: http://www.hydepark.org/neighborhood/seniorspersp.htm
“Group Offers Help for Grandparents Raising Children” by Laura Bollin in My Suburban Life, Serving Chicago’s Western Suburbs February 8, 2010, online at: http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/features/x655692989/Group-offers-help-for-grandparents-raising-children
“When Grandparenting Costs Much More Than a Grand” by Janice Hoppe in My Suburban Live, Westchester Suburban Life September 2008, online at: http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/westchester/archive/x1577099594/When-grandparenting-costs-much-more-than-a-grand
Web Links Related to Adrian’s Story
Trinity Community Church, UCC, the Gift of Hope Ministry Home Page: http://www.tccucc.com/ForGrandparentsRaisingGrandchildren.dsp
National Committee of Grandparents for Children’s Rights, online at: http://www.grandparentsforchildren.org/
Rush Oak Park Hospital, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Event Information, online at: http://www.roph.org/calendar/view/grandparents-raising-grandchildren1
State of Illinois Department on Aging, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Program, online at http://www.state.il.us/aging/1intergen/grg.htm
GrandFamilies Program of Chicago, online at http://www.grandfamilieschicago.org/index.html
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